In the series ‘Home; Garden and Grave’ I ask 6-10 different people a set of questions about their personal demons through the reflection of both their past and current fears and insecurity. Through the answers they gave me, we collaboratively translate their responses into pictures. The questions asked and explored include:
Who are your demons?
Tell me about your nightmares
What are things you do to feel safe?
What are things you do to feel powerful?
When/where don't you feel safe?
What makes you feel the loneliest?
What is your ideal form?
Can you tell me who taught you what fear meant?
Are you ashamed?
What are you ashamed of?
Can you be ashamed and proud at the same time? All the time? Isn't it exhausting?
What about yourself scares you? What makes you nervous?
Who are you when you are alone?
What are the different masks you put on?
How are you different than your reflection?
What is a story that is important to you? What does it teach you?
What is your favorite item? Most meaningful object you have?
Where is home for you?
The entire body of work of Home; Garden & Grave speak to suffocation and rejection by society and culture; the desire for another identity; to attempt to perfect forms of ourselves that aren’t ideal; these images convey abandonment, the desire for home and the aftermath of sitting with your reflection.
Its true how people say everything you do reflects who you are as a contributor to society. We must behave to please. We are puppets on some string pulling us away from our pure self and the image we must obtain in order for acceptance to occur. Suppressing what makes us happy because we know it wont get us love. Played with until we are forgotten and picked up for the next person to use. This only results in hindering from mold of who I’ve always been, feared but loved. In a sense, you are not your real self. In a sense I am not my real self, either. It took so long to feel like I’ve met him, even slightly. Theres an internal battle I face daily to please a world due to fear of judgement. So we allow the tug, we allow the strings and we allow the manipulation. When is it enough? To the point of unbearable exhaustion and realize we can and should flourish on our own?
My biggest fear is to loose myself in others and never being able to fully come back from that. Although I know everyone I cross will rob a bit of me as I will of them.
We play and hold many characters and many people, so no. You can never contain me anymore.